What my running buddy taught me.

Those who know me well may have heard me joke that the one thing I learned while I was a Girl Scout leader is that I really don't like kids. I joke. That is not really true. But I did find that I experienced much stress and anxiety in my attempt to teach, or at the very minimum - manage, a large group of small children. I do want to help children, I am just overwhelmed by the enormous responsibility of keeping them safe and creating meaningful experiences for them. I was to the point that I felt I did not have an ounce of patience left.

So I thought when I completely stepped away from Girl Scouts, I could be a "helper" for Ellie's Girls on the Run team. When the running coach referred to me as a "coach," I would deny the title. "I just want to be a helper, and I am not even really much of a runner."

Girls on the Run is a twelve week program where girls learn about self respect and healthy living while also training to run a 5k race. I offered to show up for practices once a week and signed Daddy up to be Ellie's running buddy for the race. At the practices I was not responsible for the group, but at times I still found myself short on patience. It was then, I realized that it's not so much kids that stress me out, but lots commotion and activity. I really need more quiet time to myself. But, when does a busy mom find time for that - especially while volunteering in the kids' programs?

I wasn't sure what I would do at the practice 5k? One week before the race, the girls set out to complete the full 3.12 miles the best they can with their buddy, if their buddy could make it to the practice. Ellie had Daddy and Maya can run way faster than I can. I started out with the pack. I soon found myself running with a girl who was pretty much on her own. She was unsure about having a buddy for the race. I stayed by her side. We didn't do much running at all. She walked mostly. And, quite slowly. She complained of aches and pain and fatigue. In an hour, we ran out of time before we completed 3 miles. She shared many of her thoughts with me on many different topics. She mentioned that she wasn't even interested in the program and didn't want to do it.

I told the coach I would be there for her at the race if necessary. The coaches emphasized that to be her running buddy would take a great deal of patience. I could do this! I had patience for her. It was not the chaos of many children running in many different directions. It was not the hyperactivity of kids unable to sit still (quite the opposite). It was not many children talking over me while I was asking for silence so that I could give instruction. It was just her and I and over 56 minutes of walking slowly, occasionally jogging slowly. I had all the patience in the world.

During the race, she wasn't concerned with running as she looked back and was comforted by the fact that she was not the last runner on the course. I told her it wasn't about winning or losing, but running a 5k is about setting a personal goal and doing the best you can. I told her it didn't matter how long it took, but she might want to do another race and see if she could do it a little faster next time. Even if she didn't, completing a 5k is an accomplishment to be proud of, as many people wouldn't even consider it. Even if you walk the whole course, it's good exercise. She told me she plans on continuing running.

My running buddy taught me that I am patient and I am happy to volunteer. I just have to effectively match my personality traits with the volunteer work that I choose.

See you tomorrow with only one sentence. Happy NaBloPoMo.

NaBloPoMo

My intention for National Blog Posting Month (beginning Monday) is to write one sentence per day, with or without artwork or a photo.

Little sprouts

I imagined I would sit out in nature with my sketchbook. The weather has been so perfect, why haven't I? But, last night I sketched from a photograph I took in the early spring of sedum sprouting from the ground. I have a scanner that came free with my new computer. It scans documents just fine, but it is not suitable for art. I am dreaming of buying a really nice camera. I mention this because, I am having a difficult time documenting the sketchbook project.

Spooky - Illustration Friday

Scratching the Surface . Acrylic . 24 x 24 . 2008

Spooky. If this looks familiar, that is because I posted it in March of 2008. I was frustrated with my inability to get any painting done, so I picked up a brush and faced the canvas with no expectation, other than possibly loosening up my brush strokes and allowing more emotion to flow into my work. It could have been the beginning of painting chaos that I would later organize with the structure of tree branches. When I stepped back from this, I couldn't stop looking at it and I didn't want to cover it up. The creepiness of it may be a reflection of unresolved issues in my subconscious mind. I am a bit disturbed and intrigued by myself. Please don't psychoanalyze it. That is my probably my biggest fear that keeps me from proceeding in that artistic direction.

Pages

I haven't been focused much on blogging lately. Life is more than sketchbook pages (the sketchbook project) and our new dog. I've been spending as much time as I can with my Mom. She has just begun grieving (commonly delayed). She needs the love and support of her children. I am grateful that there are 5 of us. Thinking about how many women are in this flux of caring for children and caring for parents? Sometimes, I dream of quitting my day job, but I know that wouldn't simplify my life.

On Friday, I had a meeting with Melissa at South Shore Arts. She invited me to hang with her. When I say "hang" I mean in exhibiting terms. Although chatting over lunch on Friday was fabulous as well. Having a show scheduled makes me want to create my best work yet, so where do I squeeze that in?

Dealing with Anxiety

Such a calm, cool exterior. You would never imagine that this girl has some issues. I am amazed by this beautiful pet. She comes when I call her, sits, stays, fetches. She is eager to please. Lucky just doesn't want to be left alone. I am learning a lot about separation anxiety before resorting to prescription anti-anxiety medication. The vet supplied me with lots of articles to read and I found this Animal Planet video to be very reassuring. A little knowledge and hard work and we will both be better off. Here is a bit of what we are learning.

Get plenty of exercise and take time for play. Good advice for anyone. We don't have a fenced yard and I don't want to just tie her to a tree so Lucky takes me for a couple/few walks a day. I am better for it. And, with a couple of kids around, we don't need to be reminded to play.

Encourage independence. Okay girlfriend, I know you just got dumped. I thought it was kind of sweet that you wanted to go with me to take out the garbage and you insisted on waiting for me outside the bathroom door, but don't you think maybe it's just a little bit pathetic? You are going to have to give me some space.

Be firm and clear in stating your expectations. Hmmm...maybe I could apply this one to all aspects of my life. It didn't occur to me until I watched the video that on my mock departures I could come back in and correct the dog. I haven't completely convinced her that I don't want her jumping on the chair and slobbering down the picture window, but she has learned to jump down as soon as she sees me coming. A little progress there.

Emotional Detachment. (Another trait I could apply to my own life.) I have to keep reminding the girls to refrain from long emotional doggy good-byes. Also, upon returning just ignore her til she settles down. Kind of hard to do because it's really nice being greeted at the door by someone who is super happy to see you.

I'm trying to be patient. I leave a rawhide right by the front door every day, but she chooses to chew on the woodwork instead.

Sketchbook Pages

I'm sorry I forgot you

Finally! I have made my first mark on the sketchbook of the sketchbook project. The topics to choose from were a bit obscure and so how could I adapt my theme of Nature to one of them? "I'm sorry I forgot you." Couldn't be more perfect. How many people take time to appreciate, admire, or even notice Nature? Let alone sit in awe of it? Personally, my paintings of nature are quiet contemplation. A search for spiritual enlightenment or at least a bit of self discovery. I've set this aside for too long now, so Nature - I'm sorry I forgot you.

Puppy Love

It's just unbelievable to me that we have a dog. She is beautiful. She loves us. We love her. She is ours. Lucky. The vet said she is between 8 to 10 months old. She looks young and small in the first picture. But, she is 45 lbs. and quite tall and thin. The vet said she will probably get a little taller and grow to about 60-65 lbs. I haven't been able to capture a good photo of her sprawled out. As always, I think I'll be focused on posting more art and I get wrapped up in life. Stay tuned for art, but also more photos of Lucky, I'm sure.

Lucky Dog

Can we keep her?

Last week I warned the girls to stay away from this stray dog that we've been spotting in the neighborhood. Then, we realized that she has been sleeping in our backyard every night. She was so scared we couldn't get anywhere near her. She was weary, but would stay just out of our reach. I called the Humane Society, who told me that they are overcrowded and that I would have to call Animal Control. I called Animal Control, which apparently is the town police department. A cop came out and said, "We've gotten so many calls on this dog. We can't catch her." Neither facility had any reports of a missing dog that fit her description.

I started putting food out for her every day, and told Animal Control (the cop) that if they wanted to catch her, she lives in my backyard. Now that we have fed her and bought her a rawhide she really likes us and is very sweet. Today we are going to give her a bath and find out about getting her to the vet. I think she has adopted us. We named her "Lucky."

Could it be the law of attraction? The girls believed we would have a dog someday, if only they could convince Daddy to agree. How did this sweet little stray choose our backyard to live? And how could Darrin say "no" to 3 little puppy dog faces? (Four, if you count mine.)

34:15

Ask a 12 year old to hold your camera while you run a 5k and you might not know what you will get. She did take a picture of me crossing the finish line, but I don't look so good in that picture. I am out of the habit of running 3 miles. I walked quite a bit of it, but I was surprised that I finished in under 35 minutes. I could not catch my breath. Didn't know it was because I was running quickly. Thought it was just the heavy August humidity. Looking forward to the next one and looking forward to setting some serious fitness goals. I thought I was going to be a fabulous 40, but it turns out that I have sort of let myself go. 42 is approaching. Maybe I could be a fabulous 42? I do love Maya's photographs. I should encourage her to carry her camera more often. She has quite and eye. Top: Ellie on the move. Middle: Maya has quite an eye. Below: No passing zone with red low top Chuck Taylor's and powder blue Crocs.

Happy Mail

My sketchbook arrived yesterday.

I may not be posting for a while.

Back-to-school, house guests,

fantasy football draft party,

family reunion,

etc., etc.

Coming Soon

I received an e-mail notification that my sketchbook has been shipped. Very exciting!

Tomorrow begins the school year. So hard to believe! A bit earlier than usual, but where did this summer fly off to? Usually, by this time of year I am anxiously waiting for everyone to get out of the house. Not this year. It's been so easy going, I could take another month of this.

Hosta

Another nature sketch.

Warming up for the sketchbook project.

The Sketchbook Project

I ordered my sketchbook last night for the Sketchbook Project. Filled with enthusiasm, I grabbed an existing sketchbook in anticipation of my little package that should arrive in about 2 weeks. I hope I have the tenacity to match this enthusiasm for the entire project.

Salad Bar in My Refrigerator

I would love to eat a salad everyday, but after about 3 days - I get tired of making them. I knew I had all sorts of veggies tucked away on the shelves and drawers. I didn't really know how much I had. Oftentimes veggies are forgotten and then have to be tossed. Tonight I dug everything out and chopped it up so that salads will be super easy and convenient. Along with all this, all the romaine and spinach is washed and chopped as well.

I thought this might inspire the girls to eat a little salad themselves. They were so excited, they promptly dug in at 9pm. Yum. I can't wait until lunch tomorrow.

My Kind of Town

I was just off work for 10 days and other than our annual blueberry picking and trip to the beach, there was much laziness and relaxation. Luckily, on my last day off yesterday, friends called in the morning and asked if we would like to join them for a day in the city.

The girls played in the fountains at Millennium Park.

We can't seem to walk down Michigan Avenue without popping into the Apple store to play with cool Mac stuff.

We wrote on the walls - I mean, ate pizza at Gino's East.

We finally did the boat tour down the Chicago River and out on Lake Michigan that I've always wanted to do. We happened to stop at the lego store on the way. For the first 20 minutes of the boat tour, I didn't think the girls would even pick up their heads to enjoy the view. Just then, they did.

Needs love and a good home

I've had 6 of these dining room chairs for almost as long as I have been married (18 years). I think they might date as far back as the 30's or 40's. I love them, but have never used them. They need to be cleaned up and re-seated. I just don't have a use for them and it is silly to store them in my little house any longer. Do you know of anyone who may put them to good use? I've taken them to an antique shop in town that also has no room. I took them to a used furniture store that said people just don't buy dining room sets at their shop. If I don't find a good home for them soon, I might be dumping them at Goodwill. I've avoided doing that because I want them to go to a good home where someone will really appreciate them. Leave a comment if you have any ideas?

Create Like a Child

I think about teaching art to kids and to adults who are interested but not comfortable creating art. I've developed this little project that I am going to test out on my friends. Just what I needed to get myself playing in my new sunroom studio. I could do individual posts on the process if anyone is interested in vegetable printing, bubble painting, or string painting.

No swimming.

We invited many friends along with us - to what now seems to be developing into a summertime tradition. Blueberry picking followed by beach fun. I like to make a day of it, rather than drive an hour, pick for an hour and then drive an hour home. Although, the short attention span of kids picking blueberries is shortened when they are looking forward to getting to the beach. When we finally arrived, much to our disappointment, it was a day declared "NO SWIMMING" due to large waves and dangerous riptides. I thought the kids wouldn't have any fun, but it turns out we kept them close to shore and they had more fun in the water than ever before!

Don't Move. Improve!

Whenever I mentioned to friends that I was looking around at other houses, they would say "Really? I love your house." And I would think "Really? It needs so much work!" I do love my house. When we moved in I saw potential. But, I never wanted to spend any money fixing it up if I was going to someday buy another house. As I said, we are in it for the long haul and so we have begun the sprucing process.

I am so excited about how beautifully it is coming along. I find myself walking outside just to look at my soffits and facia. I didn't take very many before pictures. Moving through change can be difficult and I don't want to look back. However, I had to capture the door on the sunroom. It was, by far, the strangest characteristic that bugged me the most. You would think in 11 years time I could have bought some paint and at least painted it? When we were having the windows replaced, I told Darrin we would also be buying a new door. He was surprised and confused that I insisted upon this. "It's a sunroom. The door should be all glass." Now that it has been replaced he could see the difference.

I can't say I am really excited about vinyl, but when we moved in and painted all the trim on this all brick house, I was shocked at what a huge job it was. The past couple years, Darrin talked about starting the whole process over. This is when we realized it was time to go maintenance free.

My Wandering Eye

There was a time when Darrin didn't understand why I couldn't just be happy, he worried that I could never be completely happy. I was always looking, even stalking others. If I saw a "For Sale" sign in a yard, I would rush home and look it up online. Maybe there were photos of the inside of the house? I would drive out of my way to pass by it again. I would come home and tell him about a beautiful house I spied. His response, "We're not moving." For years, I looked at other houses. I thought I could convince him that the grass was a little greener and a little more square footage would make me a lot happier. I never thought of him being stubborn – he is happy. He needs nothing more. I've never been a material girl. He was confused by my obsession for always wanting more. As the years have passed, I realize leaving a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood with great neighbors would not be worth uprooting kids and taking on a bigger mortgage – especially in this economic climate. At this time, we have both completely and totally committed to being here for the long haul. And so we called a contractor. And so we have just begun investing as much extra cash as we can in this humble abode to make it as beautiful as we can. We will enjoy it for at least 30 more years. I have not compromised. I have seen his way and I agree. I am happy.

At this very same time, a house went on the market just a few blocks away. A friend told me there was an Estate Sale and I had to go – just to see the house. No persuasion needed. I love looking at houses. I rushed through dinner. The girls and I walked 3 blocks. It was the most beautiful house I have ever seen! Perhaps a slight exaggeration, but Darrin had to see this house! I told Ellie to take him on Friday while I was at work. I told him to go. They didn't. Saturday morning I took him there myself. I expected him to act unimpressed even if he thought the house was nice. His response was the same as mine. He was immediately dreaming of living there. From the front, the house looks like a nice size ranch, a little more upscale than average. From the back, it looks like a million dollar beach house with a breathtaking panoramic view of nothing but nature. One would never think they were in my little neighborhood. The experience of being in the house transcends suburbia. We worked to convince ourselves and each other simultaneously that we could swing it. And – that it is totally out of the question.

Ironically and coincidentally we have both seen both sides of the "moving/not moving" issue. Just when I have found happiness where we are Darrin has experienced what it is like for me to dream and share in my house fantasies.

Priorities

Since I am over 40 years old and the kids don't keep me running like they used to, I've been packing on a little extra weight lately. Last night I decided at 9:30pm that I would exercise every day from now on! Today at 8:30pm I chose painting over exercise. Since I blog when I paint, I know for a fact that the last time I picked up a brush was March.

Timeless Classic

This past weekend we drove up to Wisconsin to visit brother John and his beautiful family. His new house has the perfect tree for the coolest tree swing. After everyone had a turn, the cousins showed us how they put the sprinkler in front of it so when you swing - you go right through the water. I got good video shots of that. I regret not having tried out the swing myself.