My Wandering Eye

There was a time when Darrin didn't understand why I couldn't just be happy, he worried that I could never be completely happy. I was always looking, even stalking others. If I saw a "For Sale" sign in a yard, I would rush home and look it up online. Maybe there were photos of the inside of the house? I would drive out of my way to pass by it again. I would come home and tell him about a beautiful house I spied. His response, "We're not moving." For years, I looked at other houses. I thought I could convince him that the grass was a little greener and a little more square footage would make me a lot happier. I never thought of him being stubborn – he is happy. He needs nothing more. I've never been a material girl. He was confused by my obsession for always wanting more. As the years have passed, I realize leaving a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood with great neighbors would not be worth uprooting kids and taking on a bigger mortgage – especially in this economic climate. At this time, we have both completely and totally committed to being here for the long haul. And so we called a contractor. And so we have just begun investing as much extra cash as we can in this humble abode to make it as beautiful as we can. We will enjoy it for at least 30 more years. I have not compromised. I have seen his way and I agree. I am happy.

At this very same time, a house went on the market just a few blocks away. A friend told me there was an Estate Sale and I had to go – just to see the house. No persuasion needed. I love looking at houses. I rushed through dinner. The girls and I walked 3 blocks. It was the most beautiful house I have ever seen! Perhaps a slight exaggeration, but Darrin had to see this house! I told Ellie to take him on Friday while I was at work. I told him to go. They didn't. Saturday morning I took him there myself. I expected him to act unimpressed even if he thought the house was nice. His response was the same as mine. He was immediately dreaming of living there. From the front, the house looks like a nice size ranch, a little more upscale than average. From the back, it looks like a million dollar beach house with a breathtaking panoramic view of nothing but nature. One would never think they were in my little neighborhood. The experience of being in the house transcends suburbia. We worked to convince ourselves and each other simultaneously that we could swing it. And – that it is totally out of the question.

Ironically and coincidentally we have both seen both sides of the "moving/not moving" issue. Just when I have found happiness where we are Darrin has experienced what it is like for me to dream and share in my house fantasies.