Technical Difficulties

I may be away a little while longer. Our poor little Mac is on his last leg and needs to see a specialist. A new computer is in the near future. Just hope we can recover the files. Nothing terribly unexpected. It was a good long life for a computer. I have been painting and parting with my love, Sugar. I did indulge in just a few more Girl Scout cookies after having gone 3 whole days without any sweets. It's so hard to resist when you have to handle 136 boxes of cookies. I have found that I crave less coffee when I am not partaking in the sweets. Feeling more focused and calm. New paintings will be posted with my new computer.

I Love You, Sugar!

I've been in a bit of a funk the last couple of days. I've actually had a little free time, but no motivation to begin any sort of creative project. Today that funk lifted as I pulled the rolled butter cookies from the oven. Since Christmas I've have strived to NOT bake. I feel I should be spending my time doing other things. It brings me such joy. Why avoid it? And again I wonder if I should open a bakery?

Teacups and Toe Shoes

Pointe shoes, I know. Teacups and toe shoes sound lovely. They are lovely. My life is full of these lovely things and day after day pass without painting.

I successfully sewed on the elastic and ribbons to Maya's first pair of pointe shoes. Assembly required on an $80 pair of shoes? They are custom fitted shoes now – as apparently – all pointe shoes are. I could have had the retailer sew them for an additional charge of $15. After having ripped out my first attempt and re-doing the elastic, I realized my time was worth that $15. But, I am proud to say I did it for my little ballerina.

Our little Girl Scout tea party was quite a success as well. Learning the "Wonders of Water", we celebrated the abundance of clean water in our lives: to drink, to bathe ourselves, to grow food, and to make pink lemonade (or tea). Several trips to several thrift stores to gather up 16 tea cups - and I wonder where all my time goes? I enjoyed every minute of it.

What the World Needs Now

Love sweet love.

And, a little more recycling.

At work, 'becca was happy to be able to pull this very large sign off of a piece of foam core so that she could re-use the foam core for another sign. I caught the sign before it made it into the garbage. All that beautiful red paper and just in time for February! We thought it might be funny to put the sign in someone's front yard. [Mike - you are lucky I am not that gutsy - it would have been at your house.] The project was inspired by a book called "Sparkly Things to Make and Do." Years ago I saw it in the Scholastic book order and had to buy it even though my 2 little girls did not even ask for it. I can't believe I haven't attempted any of the other adorable projects yet.

Focused - Illustration Friday

I thought one of my good old watercolor mandalas was perfect for this topic. I attempted to create one yesterday and feel there really is no going back to that style of painting. (at least not at this time) Splashing a little color on this doodle from last weekend was much more enjoyable. While visiting with my father on Sunday afternoon, it was what I focused on while he dozed off in his chair.

Chaos and Security

7x7 . mixed media

My scribbly lines made it impossible to accurately transfer a drawing. So I had to let go of my desire to control it and trust that I could make some order, some sense of this with only my brush. It has occurred to me as I have now started photographing nests in the branches that it is a symbol of security. Also, simplicity. How much do you need to feel secure? Birds only need a few twigs, and leaves.

Let Your Imagination Run Wild!

No. Don't. Well, maybe. But, be careful.

"Imagination is how we transform ourselves and the world in which we live." (Why Angels Have Wings, by Rami Shapiro, Spirituality and Health, Jan-Feb 2010) I needed to hear that. I tried to explain to Darrin, but couldn't quite put into words, that when I create art, I refrain from delving too deeply into my own imagination. What if I get lost? What if I can no longer differentiate between what is real and what I am only imagining? Can I transform myself and the world? Can I really?

So I hold back. I refrain from using my imagination to create art and to fully contemplate the metaphysical. It would be real easy to get lost there. Yet, I found myself a few days ago using my imagination to worry. Worry - that is your imagination speculating what bad things might happen. And then I realized other people in my same situation (or potentially worse situation) are still calm and not complaining. When did I become the most pessimistic in the bunch? This is not me. This is not who I want to be. I apologize to anyone that got an earful from me. Recently and in the past. With a smile and a laugh I have heard myself say "I know, I am so cynical." I try to laugh it off and joke because I don't really believe I am cynical. Or am I? How do I imagine the world to be? Am I bitter, distrusting, showing contempt? Do I hold a low opinion of humanity? "Sometimes" is not an acceptable answer.

In my quest for enlightenment I have read some of the modern day Spiritualists. I open a book. It resonates with me. This is all true. I needed to be reminded of this. The Universe is full of potential and possibility. I do have the power to create my life and change the world. I believe in creative consciousness despite what the critics say. It is not wishful thinking. Everything that comes into being begins as a thought.

At the end of my week I am conscious of my not-so-good thoughts and I will put them behind me. I am grateful to have heard the eloquent closing statement of the very wise Conan O'Brien. His words have the power to transform and transcend. As he said... (and I paraphrase) Cynicism is one of the worst qualities. It gets you nowhere. If you are kind and work really hard, amazing things will happen! Amazing! I will be looking for his new book on the library shelf next to Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer. Thanks, Co Co.

How Young Are You?

Today I assisted my mother in getting my father to the barber shop. I am grateful my mom was able to find one of the last few barbers to offer the service of shaving. It was sweet. Soap and brush, hot towels, straight blade - the whole nine yards. I am grateful for his courtesy and kindness. "How young are you, Jack?" "Oh, 85 years young?!" His light-heartedness was comforting. My mom said next time she would be able to get him there by herself. I told her I would happy to go with them again.

Thrifty Find

25¢ ea. I've hit 3 resale shops yesterday and today looking for teacups for a tea party. Ellie and I agree that we will just hang on to this set of four instead of giving them as party favors. Kind of kitschy, but there is something about them that we love?

Undecorating

Every last bit of the holidays has been packed away in storage – Girl Scout tree and all. And so, I am ready for yet another fresh start. Every week is new start and I have a good feeling about this one even though I haven't been early to bed lately. Late night is my favorite time of day. The house is quiet and I don't feel compelled to accomplish anything. Most relaxing.

Untitled

Two more new paintings. Also untitled. Some day their names will come to me. When I began painting mandalas I couldn't imagine what I ever might call them. By the time I was preparing for my first show I understood what they were and the titles suddenly came to me. This was months (maybe over a year) after I painted them.

And a little secret. All four of the paintings are derived from one photograph. Previous work is also of the same tree in my backyard. When cropping these two I saw where these pieces fit together.

While painting on wood 2 years ago I painted almost the exact same painting twice and did not realize it until I was looking at one on my computer screen and gazing off at the other hanging on my wall.

Last week I was so optimistic about starting anew that I was euphoric. Changes I am working on – early to bed, early to rise, early to work, more proactive/productive at the office, healthier eating, more exercise, no eating after dinner, painting everyday (almost) only tea at bedtime, no beer or wine. This week began with a strange unexplainable bout with insomnia on Sunday night. It left me feeling like I am trudging through sludge ever since. While I have hit a little bump I hope to not de-rail completely. I've actually done quite well in most areas. Not striving for perfection - just improvement. I hope this little bit of cutting and chopping prep-work will lead to more energy.

New Paintings

Untitled. 12x16. Watercolor and Acrylic.

Untitled. 12x16. Watercolor and Acrylic.

Begin Again

I absolutely love this time of year. It is quiet and restful. Time feels plentiful. And so, I am beginning a new body of work. This was my intention at this time last year. I painted very little last January and then almost nothing the rest of the year. In October I entered one of my small efforts into a juried show and was awarded "best of show." I'm sure I would have stayed the course if I had known my work was meritable. My struggle comes from not being able to judge my own work, but maybe more so from not trusting my instinct.

Winter Interest . January 2009

Best of Show - Fusion of the Arts 2009

Happy New Year!?

If how you spend your New Year's Eve is any indication of what the next year will bring...I have no idea? Nothing worked out quite as planned today. The last couple of days Darrin said he felt like he might be coming down with something. He woke me up early this morning to tell me he needed to see a doctor. Before I left for work he returned from the clinic and he assured me even though he had pneumonia we could still have friends over tonight. When I returned from work in the early afternoon he was not doing well - running a high fever, looking and feeling miserable. We cancelled plans with friends, but told them we could hook up with them at the fireworks display downtown at midnight. It was all I could say to console Ellie. It was her friends and their families that we invited over and then had to un-invite. The quiet evening passed by slowly as the girls lost interest in everything by 9:30 and I played Beatles Rock Band by myself for the last 2 hours of clock watching. Ellie was exhausted and tried to take a nap, but couldn't. She perked up just before we bundled up at 11:30 and we headed downtown. We didn't find any of our friends, we nearly got frostbite, (10˚ F) but Ellie said it was one of the best fireworks displays she has ever seen. I was happy that she was happy. It was such a strange holiday. We missed being with Daddy. We were disappointed that plans with friends didn't work out. But, we were happy and we did the best we could under the circumstances. If this is any indication of what 2010 will bring, it does not mean that Darrin will be sick or I will be playing video games. In 2010, be happy even when things don't go as planned.

The Allure of Video Games

Turn off your mind, relax

and float down stream....

I thought I might return to the reality of daily life today. I am a little obsessed with Animal Crossing. I like to pick weeds, fish and pay off my mortgage. Just when I thought I might do something productive today, Maya popped her head out of the basement and said... "Daddy said 'Get the band together.'" Darrin hooked up the stereo to the Wii so we can really jam. I was still playing for about an hour after everyone else walked away. Ever since we heard that Rock Band was coming out with a Beatles version, the whole family was wishing for it. Maya was confident that Santa would bring it, because as she said "Santa likes when families do things together." Before I saw Rock Band, I thought it sounded quite ludicrous. Game controllers shaped like guitars? You press colored buttons and pretend you can play a musical instrument? It's actually quite a lot of fun! Singing and playing the drums aren't quite as feigned as guitar playing. I thought we would never own any video games. I have found that playing some games does take some mental focus and coordination. Still it's a little disturbing how many fill our house. And, of course we limit how much the kids play. I just need a little self-discipline. January is my time to start fresh. This week I am still indulging.

Happy Holidays!

Last week was a marathon of holiday preparation and even though I was exhausted, I enjoyed every minute of it. Now I am on vacation and just tying up a few last minute little things. My fabulous hubby gave me the Mommy time I needed today. He took both girls to my parents house and cleared the snow from their driveway. Maya and Ellie made this adorable snowman outside the window that Grandpa looks out from his comfy chair. Our first snow this year, just in time for Christmas!

Today

Estimated cookie count as of yet = 320.

Cookie Continuum

Ellie chose to make rolled butter cookie Christmas trees for her class treat. The gingerbread decorating for the student council party went well. JuJu Bees make great little gumdrop looking decorations for gingerbread, but I felt bad giving them to kids. I don't think there is anything worse for teeth than JuJu Bees.

Last night I mixed up the 4th batch of gingerbread dough. Plus, pecan tassies and a double batch of fudgy brownie cups along with the rolled butter cookies means that I am on my 8th round of cookies so far. Last night as I was cleaning up the mess at 10pm I felt that this is an obsession more than a tradition.

Gingerbread Off and Running!

Here begins the cookie extravaganza. On Saturday we mixed up a double batch of gingerbread. Maya wanted to take a holiday treat to her class and all the teachers. I planned to make gingerbread for the Brownie Girl Scout party tonight. Decorating cookies doubles as a party project and a party treat! This is why I mixed up the third batch today before Girl Scouts for the Student Council Christmas party on Wednesday. Somewhere between Wednesday and Friday I will be baking ALL my favorite cookies to share with friends on Saturday night.

Snowglobe

Let's shake it up a bit.

Christmas is coming and the little ones

want to see some snow!

Christmas Doodling

I love the simplicity of these little ornaments.

Fun to draw.

Nablopomo - Endnotes

Well, it was fun while it lasted. I didn't quite make it through 30 days of art blogging, but I enjoyed the experience. I am happy to say I didn't fizzle out because life was "oh so hectic". I was busy enjoying the holiday - eating, drinking, relaxing, visiting with family. And, we had a house guest. I didn't really want to try and disappear into some remote part of the house to draw or paint something. Instead, I just enjoyed a glass of wine with Grandpa Bob.

I had hoped to develop some sort of consistent style in my work, which I did not. I didn't have a whole lot of time to create something everyday and most often the topic dictated the style of illustration.

Here are a few of my thoughts in retrospect.

Nov. 1: I have an irrational fear of mice. I am puzzled to see how some people react when they see a spider, bee, bug or creepy crawly thing. The screaming, flailing, jumping, running? None of those things faze me. However, that would be my exact reaction to seeing a mouse. In fact, I don't wear sandals in movie theaters because I think one might crawl across my foot.

Nov. 7: Painting nature makes me very happy. I was thrilled to have a topic to apply to a new painting.

Nov. 8: Conspiracy Theory. I have a few. I try not to dwell on them. I couldn't think of one of my own to illustrate so I Googled "conspiracy theory." My goodness. That was interesting. Apparently some people believe that the mark of the beast is imbedded in bar codes. I struggled with the drawing of the 7 headed beast so I collaged a barcode with a work of Albrecht Durer. I am not comfortable with the idea of using bits and pieces of other images in collage even though I am not reproducing this or selling it for profit. On a separate note, there is a website that will generate a barcode and this one in particular says "conspiracy" in barcode language.

Nov. 10: I admire primitive drawing styles of other people. If I drew in this style everyday I would become more comfortable with the imperfections. Or perhaps there would just be fewer imperfections.

Nov. 11: The topic was "The most interesting thing that happened to me today." Again, happy to loosely apply the topic to a nature painting. I am very excited about this one and in January plan on beginning a series of these in a larger format.

Nov. 12: A mono-print I created while in high school. The first day I did not create art for the day. I struggled with the topic "How has your life turned out differently than you imagined it would when you were in high school?" Either mine is not that different or I didn't really have any expectations. I thought I would have an art related job. I do. I thought I would probably get married and have a couple of kids. I do.

Nov. 13: The second day that I posted an older piece of work. I donated this piece to an online auction for The Peace Fund a few years ago. (Protect, Educate and Aid Children Everywhere) At the time I was really believing that I could create peace though the painting of mandalas and I have donated a few. I was happy to donate a painting and solicit all my friends to bid.

Nov 14.: "Five ways to lose a fight." Not easy to fit into a small quick illustration. You may not have recognized them: 1. Hitting below the belt 2. Running 3. Cowering 4. Crying 5. Surrender

Nov. 15: Re-posted an older work. I was thrilled to have created a haiku for this day. The only topic worth breaking my word fast for. I have thought about attempting to write a haiku for years, but never have. The traditional haiku pertains to nature and I have given so much thought to my deciduous paintings that the poetry quickly spilled from my mind.

Nov. 16: The present. Painting nature makes me happy.

Nov. 17: For the record I would prefer getting a peg leg before a hook! What artist would be willing to give up their right hand? or their left? For the sake of illustration I chose the hook. If this girl looks a little familiar I digitally worked over an old Illustration Friday piece. So much fun - I could get used to this type of work, but too much else going on right now. I need to focus on painting.

Nov. 20: This was so much fun to draw! I was a little uncomfortable because I am a freak about plagiarism. Again, I am not reproducing this or creating it for profit. It is very much meant to pay homage, but it is too similar to the original. I have not adapted it in anyway to make it my own. Anyone want to share your opinion on this topic of the fine line between homage and plagiarism?

Nov. 24: Still struggling with paying homage and plagiarizing. Eric Carle has a lovely blog himself and I found the coloring page on his website.

I guess I have not avoided rambling - just put it off til the end.

I'll probably take a little break from blogging until January with the exception of a few photos of cookies. You might as well check them out from last year, because as I realized then, they will look exactly the same!

Happy Holidays!

Who Would Portray Us?

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