After this past week in the hospital I am back to being a little skeptical and angry. We are no longer dealing with people who are attentive, compassionate and helpful. My Mom was very confident in the decision she made regarding my Dad. Doctors are not present for conversation, but made us second guess ourselves and gave us false hope. I have to go back to work today after 11 days of sitting at the hospital day and night so that I could help my 78 year old mother piece together small bits of information. One is lucky to gather information if you happen to be in the room when a doctor or nurse walks in. When making decisions concerning life and death, you would think that a doctor would call you or agree to have a conversation if you request it. My Dad is clearly at the end of his life, I just pray that he doesn't have to suffer for long.
2 comments:
I want to say how frustrating. But frustrating is waiting with your daughter in a doctor’s office for 3 hours for a brief, routine consultation just to get a prescription renewed. This is more than just that, for there is an element of heartbreak, confusion and the feeling of being let down when you were depending upon some manner of support. I can try to imagine what you mean, but I know I can’t . . .
You’re trying to hold each other close, to grope after the words and the meaning of this solemn, unique and common everyday experience. You want to know what to do; you want to do the right thing. You don’t want your father to suffer, or to be senselessly kept alive by machines and medications. When it’s time you want to be there for him and to share a goodbye. You want your dad to feel as much as possible that he’s not alone.
You want your mom to feel free to work through the changes that life is putting her through, the watching and waiting and the remaining until death do us part, and then the letting go and the figuring out what’s next . . . You want her to feel good about her decisions. You want good information that can minimize the chance that she’ll second guess herself.
To go through this vital experience and to have to deal with an impersonal bureaucratic machine, when a small effort with a little compassion and honest guidance would mean so much . . . It’s frustrating just thinking about it . . .
Lots of love to you and your family, Patti... will continue to send prayers and Reiki
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