Not Really

Friday night I attended an opening reception at the Co-Prosperity Sphere in Bridgeport. As always, it was great to be surrounded by art and artists. Especially delightful to see people that I have not seen in years. A few of them asked me if I have been painting. My answer: "No. Not really." Why do I deny this? I have not been consistent in my effort or technique. I am not satisfied with any one painting nor does any one of them feel complete. I can't say I have a body of work or that I am ready for a show, but that doesn't mean I haven't painted.

Summer

I've enjoyed a beautiful summer weekend including: perfect weather, running, biking, gardening, reading, relaxing, friends, bbq, campfire, s'mores and more. Yesterday we showed our friends our vegetable garden and the beans just peeking through the dirt. This morning they were 2 inches tall! Magic beans? Plus, a bumper crop of strawberries which have inspired the baking of pound cake and a fresh fruit pie. [I must have been more interested in eating dessert than photographing it.]

Springfield, IL

We had a very nice weekend in Springfield. It was a much smaller city than I had imagined, but certainly a few sites worth seeing. It meant a lot to me just to spend time together as a family.

Video projection microscope intended for viewing historical artifacts.

The fact that my girls have completely outgrown any children's play museum makes me a little sad to realize we are quickly leaving childhood behind.

I think the girls had fun!

Unlucky?

This morning, I poured a bowl of Lucky Charms and this is what I got. Unlucky? I don't think so. I grilled the girls with accusation. Have you picked all the marshmallows out? Ellie totally denied it. Although she did say she looks in the box and assesses which side would score her the most marshmallows before she pours. Pretty smart. Maya said "no" but I saw something in her eyes. Then she confessed, "but only on the last bowl" because she didn't get any either.

All this to say, why did I even start my day with a bowl of sugary cereal? Yesterday I came home from work and crashed from a long busy week. I just couldn't bear the thought of the school fun fair or even a martini with the moms after. I was completely wiped out and needed down time. So I stayed home, laid on the couch, watched a movie, and then some lecture on healthy eating that supplements the PBS subscription drive. Yes, yes. I know this. I shouldn't be eating sugar, or wheat or dairy. So is this bowl unlucky? No. It just wasn't meant to be.

Back to it.

Here I am. Finally back to painting. I had to force myself to do it. I've compared it to exercise before. You can't wait for the spirit to move you. You may be waiting too long. Sometimes inspiration follows after you take the first few steps. Surprisingly, this is the same painting. The first no longer exists. I considered it an underpainting. The second is still an underpainting - over the first. No regrets. There is more canvas where that came from.

Good Morning Baby Cakes!

I've made donuts for the 3rd time this morning since Santa brought us a Baby Cakes Mini Donut Maker. : )

12th Night

I have all my decorations packed away except for the tree - which is halfway undecorated. Went to the ceremonial burning of the trees at the Main Square in our little town. Then, out to dinner with friends for lots of fun.

Yesterday Ellie had me shoot her gingerbread creation before I tossed it in the trash.

On Monday we ice-skated at Millenium Park with friends. On Tuesday we went to a roller skating party, where I skated all night. Makes me want to keep going, as it takes me a while to get comfortable and then it seems I go such a long time without strapping on skates again.

Working 8 hours a day is easy when Darrin is home with the girls. Monday - back to school and early mornings. Ugh.

Blessings

Counting your blessings really does help put things into perspective. I was overwhelmed by too much to do and too much stuff. I am blessed. Bless You and Merry Christmas.

BAH HUMBUG!

I am far too exhausted to feel any joy. I pray that once all the preparations are in place I will delight in the true meaning of Christmas. What is the true meaning of Christmas? Leave a comment if you have an idea to share. At this time, I am fantasizing about running away to a far distant land next year and throwing tradition out the window. Instead, perhaps I should consider emphasizing more spirituality and less materialism.

The Baker's Apprentice

Ellie was afraid I wouldn't have time to help bake for the K-Kid's bake sale. Then insisted that she could make the rolled butter cookies from start to finish all by herself with no help from me. She did it! I guess that doesn't make her an apprentice, more like a master chef!

My Studio

My studio, not so much. Since I have been able to work from home a little, this has become my home office. I finally settled into the idea this past week. Instead of a massive amount of production work, I happened to have a very fun (Christmasy) design project. I was able to beat the school bus home and then finish up what I started, plus clock a few extra hours. Nice. Looking forward to squeezing in some painting, but not until I get through the holidays.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Same pies as every year, but lots of help this time. I made the pecan. Maya made the pumpkin and Ellie made the apple. Much gratitude.

How's That for Irony?

Maya came home from school and was excited to tell me that she was learning all about irony in English class. She couldn't remember the song, but knew I listened to it - the one with all the really great examples of irony. Eighth grade. Aren't you going to read "The Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry? I understand the attempt to appeal to the students with something a bit more contemporary, but that story has stuck with me for more than 30 years. It was old-fashioned even when I was a kid. I think we watched a film strip after having read the story. Beep.

When I think of irony, I think of cutting off my hair to buy my husband a chain for his pocket watch only to find that he has sold his watch to buy the fancy hair combs that I always wanted. But now I have no hair. What a beautiful, romantic story of love and sacrifice.

And when I think of the song by Alanis Morrissette, I think the only irony is that there is not one good example of irony in the whole song. Rain on your wedding day? People say it's good luck just to make you feel better. Good advice that you didn't take equals poor judgement. Meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting is wife? It was never meant to be, Honey. A black fly in your Chardonnay? That's just gross. Ten thousand spoons when you need a knife? Dumb luck. I really like the song and I really like the teacher, but I just don't see the irony here.

And so I came up with my own example for Maya. I was going to report on how much I have learned from Cesar Millan and how successful my efforts have been dealing with separation anxiety. I was ready to state that I have completely rehabilitated Lucky. But, my part-time job went full time with overtime so guess what? Relapse. No time for adequate doggy exercise and much longer periods of separation. And as the Dog Whisperer will tell you - the dog reflects your energy. I have not been able to maintain my new calm assertive stature. My job has increased my anxiety level to maximum capacity. I feel so stressed out, maybe I'll start gnawing on the front door?

I don't know when I'll be back... if ever.

Magical Mishap

We traveled to Orlando with the high school marching band. They marched on Main Street at the Magic Kingdom. Here comes the band! The moment we've been waiting for! The reason for the whole trip! My camera battery is dead?! Before leaving, I wasn't concerned with the possibility of my battery running low. I've had my nice big camera for a year now and only had to charge the battery once so far. But, you would have thought that I could have learned my lesson as the last time I lost power was waiting for Darrin and Ellie to cross the finish line at a 5k race. Okay, now I've learned. I didn't quite capture the memory of marching with this photo, but I did get a few photos of the first 2 of 4 days of park hopping. I probably never would have taken my kids to Disney World. I am not enamored by the whole "magical" experience as the rest of the world seems to be. Driving home from the high school at 11:30pm last night, I thanked Maya for taking me there. We had a great trip and it was a great experience for both of my girls: Maya for being responsible, independent and an accomplished musician, and Ellie for being a brave little coaster rider. They both surprised us with their calm and cool sense of adventure.

Group Show - In Conversation

Yesterday was the opening of the new South Shore Art Crown Point location. A great new space that you can read about here. Below is a shot of 2 paintings that I only showed partial images of earlier.

Upheaval

Change is good, but sometimes unnerving. Here is the view from my window. This is much better than the pothole-filling band-aid solution most roads get. We are getting a whole new street. Our older neighborhood is ready for new sewer, water lines, curbs and sidewalks. It will be lovely. But, everyday for the past 6 weeks I've had to listen to heavy machinery, walk through debris to get in an out, and worst of all - feel the entire house shake. I fear that my foundation and plaster walls are going to start to crumble. Today I was really late for work because I have to walk around the block to get to my car. One of my neighbors caught me and we chatted for quite a while about the details - such as the change in slope at the end of his driveway. Feeling optimistic about this getting done in a timely manner as well as other new big projects I will be taking on myself.

How I Felt

I've tried to blog a few times in the past few weeks, but I couldn't find the words. I've walked the dog to the point of exhaustion – mine, not hers. I wonder if the daily diligence has had some sort of cathartic effect on me? I've been weary and confused. I'm back now with a little more clarity and optimism.

With my clarity, comes this realization... I don't want to be crafter. I've been curious for a long time and now I know. I'll make a few things for pure enjoyment, not in an attempt to make extra cash. I can't stop thinking of how much time I'm spending and how it could not possibly be lucrative, even if it is enjoyable. All the while, running through my head - "if you want to make more money, just work more hours on that part-time job." Ironically, the opportunity to possibly work some of my graphic design hours from home has presented itself. In the past, I had doubted if I would want that or not. The timing on this is perfect. It's going to be good.

And so if you are interested in any of my hand-crafted items, visit the Highland Band Booster Craft Fair in November (and possibly again in March 2012) for my limited edition jewelry and little felt bakery items.

Exercise, Discipline and then Affection

I am beginning to subscribe to "Cesar's Way" and hoping that I will soon be reporting that I have completely rehabilitated this dog. It's been more than a year since we rescued Lucky from the streets. And she is the perfect dog, if not for the severe separation anxiety. According to Cesar Millan, what a dog needs first and most is exercise (especially dogs with anxiety). I am canceling my gym membership as I have lengthened our morning walk to 30-45 minutes. Three miles on the days I don't go to work. The girls share the afternoon walk and I walk her again in the evening for another 20 minutes. Lucky hasn't shown any signs of improvement, but I am exhausted. I still have a lot to learn about taking on the role of pack leader and I am thankful everyday for this beautiful fall weather.

Birthday Treats

Anyone who knows my family will always remember Ellie's birthday. Yes, on Sunday she will be 10 on the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11, 2001. For her school treats she requested what she named "the world's best cupcakes" - my own personal creation. Top a chocolate fudge cupcake with creamy filling (cream cheese, powdered sugar and cool whip) and then a beautiful ganache – and sprinkles, of course. A batch of 24 does not cover it for the class, plus teachers. So April will be getting a few extras as the belated birthday home-made yummy goodness I promised her last week. And again tonight I wondered what it would be like to own a little bakery.

Transpired

It's been a week since posting. What has transpired? Painting. Painting. Painting. The first piece is done, but only a partial image because I forgot to shoot it before I framed it. The other two are in progress. (Also only partial images)

Wishes for a friend

[front]

Here is my first designer birthday card – meaning it's a birthday card for a graphic designer. It's sort of a private joke between my friend April and I. But, anyone might enjoy it if you think the use of a certain font can be funny. (or if you laugh at your co-workers choices of ugly fonts)

[inside]