Play Today

Lately I have not been able to accomplish anything nor relax.

Cool, but forgotten

I successfully renewed interest in pattern blocks

by digging them out of the closet and displaying them

as a dining room table centerpiece.

More sugar

Brownie bites baked for Band Booster Bake Sale.

This was yesterday

I was thinking of sewing little elves of felt.

Goal Setting

Consume less sugar, de-clutter the house, and crate-train the dog.

NaBloPoMo Mulligan

I got nothin'.

Relapse of Separation Anxiety

I have never longed for cable TV,

but I'd like to see that show called "It's Me or the Dog."

Blogging

I'm not sure how much longer I will be a blogger.

Late Fall Planting

I just finished relocating my peonies

in the dark and it's not even 5:30pm.

Sketchbook

Painting does not always bring me joy,

but not painting makes me miserable.

Time to make the pees

While designing the "How to Cook a Turkey" section of the paper, I had to explain to my coworkers why I was lol.

Studio

It did not take long to clear the Halloween sewing clutter from my workspace and begin creating something new.

The bad and the good

Today I over ate and stayed up too late, but got completely caught up on laundry.

Light a candle

The Liturgy of Remembrance in honor of all the parishioners who departed this year was more beautiful and cathartic than expected.

Halloween Fun

You know the large stray dog you have welcomed into your home is perfectly safe when she happily allows the kids to dress her in a tutu.

What my running buddy taught me.

Those who know me well may have heard me joke that the one thing I learned while I was a Girl Scout leader is that I really don't like kids. I joke. That is not really true. But I did find that I experienced much stress and anxiety in my attempt to teach, or at the very minimum - manage, a large group of small children. I do want to help children, I am just overwhelmed by the enormous responsibility of keeping them safe and creating meaningful experiences for them. I was to the point that I felt I did not have an ounce of patience left.

So I thought when I completely stepped away from Girl Scouts, I could be a "helper" for Ellie's Girls on the Run team. When the running coach referred to me as a "coach," I would deny the title. "I just want to be a helper, and I am not even really much of a runner."

Girls on the Run is a twelve week program where girls learn about self respect and healthy living while also training to run a 5k race. I offered to show up for practices once a week and signed Daddy up to be Ellie's running buddy for the race. At the practices I was not responsible for the group, but at times I still found myself short on patience. It was then, I realized that it's not so much kids that stress me out, but lots commotion and activity. I really need more quiet time to myself. But, when does a busy mom find time for that - especially while volunteering in the kids' programs?

I wasn't sure what I would do at the practice 5k? One week before the race, the girls set out to complete the full 3.12 miles the best they can with their buddy, if their buddy could make it to the practice. Ellie had Daddy and Maya can run way faster than I can. I started out with the pack. I soon found myself running with a girl who was pretty much on her own. She was unsure about having a buddy for the race. I stayed by her side. We didn't do much running at all. She walked mostly. And, quite slowly. She complained of aches and pain and fatigue. In an hour, we ran out of time before we completed 3 miles. She shared many of her thoughts with me on many different topics. She mentioned that she wasn't even interested in the program and didn't want to do it.

I told the coach I would be there for her at the race if necessary. The coaches emphasized that to be her running buddy would take a great deal of patience. I could do this! I had patience for her. It was not the chaos of many children running in many different directions. It was not the hyperactivity of kids unable to sit still (quite the opposite). It was not many children talking over me while I was asking for silence so that I could give instruction. It was just her and I and over 56 minutes of walking slowly, occasionally jogging slowly. I had all the patience in the world.

During the race, she wasn't concerned with running as she looked back and was comforted by the fact that she was not the last runner on the course. I told her it wasn't about winning or losing, but running a 5k is about setting a personal goal and doing the best you can. I told her it didn't matter how long it took, but she might want to do another race and see if she could do it a little faster next time. Even if she didn't, completing a 5k is an accomplishment to be proud of, as many people wouldn't even consider it. Even if you walk the whole course, it's good exercise. She told me she plans on continuing running.

My running buddy taught me that I am patient and I am happy to volunteer. I just have to effectively match my personality traits with the volunteer work that I choose.

See you tomorrow with only one sentence. Happy NaBloPoMo.

NaBloPoMo

My intention for National Blog Posting Month (beginning Monday) is to write one sentence per day, with or without artwork or a photo.

Little sprouts

I imagined I would sit out in nature with my sketchbook. The weather has been so perfect, why haven't I? But, last night I sketched from a photograph I took in the early spring of sedum sprouting from the ground. I have a scanner that came free with my new computer. It scans documents just fine, but it is not suitable for art. I am dreaming of buying a really nice camera. I mention this because, I am having a difficult time documenting the sketchbook project.

Spooky - Illustration Friday

Scratching the Surface . Acrylic . 24 x 24 . 2008

Spooky. If this looks familiar, that is because I posted it in March of 2008. I was frustrated with my inability to get any painting done, so I picked up a brush and faced the canvas with no expectation, other than possibly loosening up my brush strokes and allowing more emotion to flow into my work. It could have been the beginning of painting chaos that I would later organize with the structure of tree branches. When I stepped back from this, I couldn't stop looking at it and I didn't want to cover it up. The creepiness of it may be a reflection of unresolved issues in my subconscious mind. I am a bit disturbed and intrigued by myself. Please don't psychoanalyze it. That is my probably my biggest fear that keeps me from proceeding in that artistic direction.

Pages

I haven't been focused much on blogging lately. Life is more than sketchbook pages (the sketchbook project) and our new dog. I've been spending as much time as I can with my Mom. She has just begun grieving (commonly delayed). She needs the love and support of her children. I am grateful that there are 5 of us. Thinking about how many women are in this flux of caring for children and caring for parents? Sometimes, I dream of quitting my day job, but I know that wouldn't simplify my life.

On Friday, I had a meeting with Melissa at South Shore Arts. She invited me to hang with her. When I say "hang" I mean in exhibiting terms. Although chatting over lunch on Friday was fabulous as well. Having a show scheduled makes me want to create my best work yet, so where do I squeeze that in?

Dealing with Anxiety

Such a calm, cool exterior. You would never imagine that this girl has some issues. I am amazed by this beautiful pet. She comes when I call her, sits, stays, fetches. She is eager to please. Lucky just doesn't want to be left alone. I am learning a lot about separation anxiety before resorting to prescription anti-anxiety medication. The vet supplied me with lots of articles to read and I found this Animal Planet video to be very reassuring. A little knowledge and hard work and we will both be better off. Here is a bit of what we are learning.

Get plenty of exercise and take time for play. Good advice for anyone. We don't have a fenced yard and I don't want to just tie her to a tree so Lucky takes me for a couple/few walks a day. I am better for it. And, with a couple of kids around, we don't need to be reminded to play.

Encourage independence. Okay girlfriend, I know you just got dumped. I thought it was kind of sweet that you wanted to go with me to take out the garbage and you insisted on waiting for me outside the bathroom door, but don't you think maybe it's just a little bit pathetic? You are going to have to give me some space.

Be firm and clear in stating your expectations. Hmmm...maybe I could apply this one to all aspects of my life. It didn't occur to me until I watched the video that on my mock departures I could come back in and correct the dog. I haven't completely convinced her that I don't want her jumping on the chair and slobbering down the picture window, but she has learned to jump down as soon as she sees me coming. A little progress there.

Emotional Detachment. (Another trait I could apply to my own life.) I have to keep reminding the girls to refrain from long emotional doggy good-byes. Also, upon returning just ignore her til she settles down. Kind of hard to do because it's really nice being greeted at the door by someone who is super happy to see you.

I'm trying to be patient. I leave a rawhide right by the front door every day, but she chooses to chew on the woodwork instead.

Sketchbook Pages

I'm sorry I forgot you

Finally! I have made my first mark on the sketchbook of the sketchbook project. The topics to choose from were a bit obscure and so how could I adapt my theme of Nature to one of them? "I'm sorry I forgot you." Couldn't be more perfect. How many people take time to appreciate, admire, or even notice Nature? Let alone sit in awe of it? Personally, my paintings of nature are quiet contemplation. A search for spiritual enlightenment or at least a bit of self discovery. I've set this aside for too long now, so Nature - I'm sorry I forgot you.

Puppy Love

It's just unbelievable to me that we have a dog. She is beautiful. She loves us. We love her. She is ours. Lucky. The vet said she is between 8 to 10 months old. She looks young and small in the first picture. But, she is 45 lbs. and quite tall and thin. The vet said she will probably get a little taller and grow to about 60-65 lbs. I haven't been able to capture a good photo of her sprawled out. As always, I think I'll be focused on posting more art and I get wrapped up in life. Stay tuned for art, but also more photos of Lucky, I'm sure.